Harry Potter and the Very Weird Sisters
by SisterOfAnElvenWannabe
Summary: Utter nonsense, and yet quite entertaining.


**Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns all the characters, (except one who is owned by J. R. R. Tolkien). Half the credit for this story goes to my sister, a.k.a. the elven wannabe. Also a certain line of this story is in no way intended to mae fun of Parkinson's disease or people with Parkinson's disease.**

The wand of cedar annihilated the maroon headed porcupine, and our friends laughed, but your mother fell into a pensive when Ronald Weasley pushed Hermione through his wall for cheating with Harry on him.

However, Bellatrix waited for kittens to eat Draco, but only dead kittens would eat blonde purebloods for supper.

Meanwhile, Sirius posthumously proposed several amendments for better ways to torment Snivelus, who was green with envy over another man's favorite redhead.

Music teacher and muggle-born, Professor Dumbledore – surprise you much? – hired green with envy Snivelus as a killer.

Trelawny refused to agree to deny Lucius's twentieth proposal for new socks, because she thought Narcissa didn't mind that kittens ate a very foul, loathsome, little cockroach named Draco for supper and breakfast, then they finished him for lunch yesterday.

Albus surprisingly wasn't happy with his name or his mother.

Scorpius realized that Umbridge was enamored with dead bunnies eating Harry. What did her mother teach her when she forgot her lovely mittens?

Elsewhere in London, Rose rose to her feet and declared her feelings on the constitution of Great Britain, and then Hugo said "Shut up you stupid evil conniving shrew-like hag!" Therefore, James arose and became a living person once more.

However, Lily pulled her husband into a box containing seven Horcruxes. Yaxley similarly arose, but Rookwood inhibited his passing into life.

Regulus told his brother that he was slightly confused about love and hate, and then Sirius told Regulus about Gryffindor and his wife who didn't even want marriage.

Slytherin usurped Ravenclaw's diadem and place in Hufflepuff's heart. Helga was heartbroken because Slytherin didn't spurn her quickly.

Remus, aka Moony, howled at Jupiter's 22nd moon.

Dudley floated up from his sewer and skewered Flitwick through the seventh tooth. "Ouch!," Flitwick bubbled in bloody pain and suffering as his blood gushed over his robes.

Dobby knitted some maroon gloves out of spider webs and porcupine quills.

"Ouch!, that stings," Barty complained.

"Ha, hee, ho, hoo, heh, achoo!" McGonagal giggled and sneezed.

Vernon forwent going insane instead of losing his marbles under the bench.

Petunia was very distressed about Dudley's latest crush on Marge, but Colonel Fubster rejoiced.

Rita Skeeter's blog contracted Pansy Parkinson's disease due to mild symptom's occurring in networking sites. Death was pleased that Voldemort always forgot to extinguish his yellow torch. Death also liked his purple teddy bear nightlight, which he had in his bedroom because he was afraid of the dark.

Luna crawled through mazes on the top of the sewer. Tonks decided that Russian speaking Werewolves were more likable than English muffins.

The final sentence in this man's biography, written by Rita Skeeter, revealed that he was very sad about enslavement of house cats.

Hermione gasped as kittens devoured cockroaches.

Birds sneered at every dog, except Roverandom.

Roverrandom laughed when Rodolphus was taken out of Bellatrix's house for ninety wacks, because Sirius caught pineapple sweets in his basket.

Crookshanks shrunk Scabbers into a pimple-sized ball of furry, grey, evil dust.

Hogwarts crumbled under the pressure of eighty seven tons of marshmallows dropped from Hagrid's brother's sleigh.

Gringotts turned into fluffy blankets after Fang and Hedwig and Hagrid and Lavender charmed Diagon Alley.

Ariana fluttered down out of the sky with her father and uncle.

Fred dyed his brother's hair maroon. Similarly, George also tie-dyed Percy's feathery scarf using his bloody ear hole. Armageddon came slowly but surely. The first sign was that Mars exploded. Bane was astonished because Uranus wasn't aligned with anything. Fin.

**Okay so right about this moment you're probably thinking my sister and I are raving mad. What this was was a game we were playing where she's say a word, then I'd say a word, then she'd say a word, and so on. This was the result. Please R&R and don't take this story too seriously.**


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